Wedding Thank You Card Tips

Wedding Thank You Card Tips & Etiquette | Bespoken Weddings & Events

It is so important to express gratitude for every gift you're given, whether it's a tangible item, an event in your honor, or the gift of time or talent from someone. The other important part of expressing gratitude is being prompt with your thank you. And in this day and age, writing a personal, handwritten thank you card is still the gold standard.

Writing your thank you notes for your wedding gifts can be a daunting task. Ideally, you should write a thank you note and send it pretty much immediately after receiving it, but when it comes to your wedding gifts, you have a two-week buffer. But if you can help it, don't wait.

Try to write a small batch of Thank You notes each day (3-5 per day) so that you don't fall behind. That's much easier to handle instead of thinking about writing hundreds at a time.

And split the notes! One person doesn't need to be writing all of the thank you cards. Split them between the two of you; share the love :) Maybe you can write the notes to your family, and he can write the notes to his family.

Make sure your note expresses gratitude from both of you. You can choose to sign it individually, or you can both sign each note. It's really up to you.

Who should you thank?

  • Everyone who gives you a wedding present

  • Everyone who gives you money

  • Your bridesmaids

  • Your groomsmen

  • Everyone who hosts a shower or party for you

  • Everyone who lets guests stay in their homes

  • Everyone who does acts of kindness for you (accepts delivery of your gifts when you're not home, the second cousin who supervises guest parking, etc.)

  • All of your suppliers and vendors

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Bespoken Bride: Meet Kiley

Kiley & Tyler Engagement Photos | Greenville SC | Photos by Chrissy Pfeiffer | Bespoken Weddings & Events

I am so very excited to introduce you to Kiley today! She and Tyler are getting married in downtown Greenville in May...for Cinco de Mayo!!! My love for chips and salsa and Mexican food, in general, is no secret, so I feel like I've met a soul sister in Kiley. Hers and Tyler's wedding is definitely going to be memorable and fun...stay tuned! And in the meantime, meet Kiley :)

How did you two meet? How long have you known each other? We swiped right and met on Bumble about a year and a half ago.

Where do guys like to go on your dates? We like to go to concerts, sporting events, and on walks around downtown Greenville with our Golden Retriever. We're very outdoorsy.

What is your favorite restaurant or type of food? Anything Mexican

Complete this sentence: We go together like _______. Chips and Salsa

Photos by Chrissy Pfeiffer

Photos by Chrissy Pfeiffer

When did you know he was "the one"? Did he know before you knew? I thought he was the one about a month into dating. He later told me he knew without a doubt I was the one about that same time.

How did he propose? Were you surprised? After closing on my house, Tyler and I went over to take pictures and celebrate. It was there in the new kitchen that he asked me to marry him. I was so surprised. I believe my first question was "is that for me?" Not my brightest moment. :)

When and where are you two getting married? What made you decide to get married here? We are getting married on May 5, 2018 aka Cinco de Mayo! Our wedding will be in downtown Greenville at one of the the Larkins Venues. I am from Indiana and moved down here 2 years ago because I fell in love with Greenville. Since the city is so important to both of us, we decided it would be perfect. We want to show it off to all of our out of town friends and family.

Photos by Chrissy Pfeiffer

Photos by Chrissy Pfeiffer

What colors are you using for your wedding? Light blue and silver with pink flowers as an accent

Describe your wedding in three words. Love, Exciting, and Memorable

How would you describe the style of your wedding? I would like to have a romantic wedding, but I am also incorporating Cinco de Mayo and all that it entails to the reception.

What are your top 3 must-haves for your wedding?  I really want my groom and wedding party to have an amazing time. Mexican food with a signature tequila drink. Great music!

What is your favorite wedding blog or magazine? The Knot

Photos by Chrissy Pfeiffer

Photos by Chrissy Pfeiffer

What have you loved most about planning your wedding? Being able to make the wedding whatever I want it to be. There are so many options that your imagination is really the only limit. For example, I love Mexican food and tequila. I could not be more excited to be able to incorporate both into my wedding. Who knew that was even a possibility??

Are you guys going on a honeymoon? Where? Why did you choose this location? What are you going to do? We are going to Isla Mujeres in Mexico. I love Mexico, and Tyler has never been so it just seemed like the perfect destination. We plan to enjoy the beach, swim with dolphins, snorkel, and maybe even do some sightseeing! It is also an all-inclusive resort, so you really can't beat that.

What are you most excited about in your marriage? Having a best friend and teammate for all of life's ups and downs. I'm excited for us to learn together and make our goals and dreams become a reality together.

If you could give any future bride one piece of advice, what would you tell her? Have fun and make it what you want. It's your day and should reflect who you and your groom are and the things you both love.

Bespoken Bride: Meet Julia

Julia & Daniel | Engagement Photos by Sophie Brendle Lindler | Greenville, SC | Bespoken Weddings & Events

When Julia reached out to me several months ago to discuss the possibility of working together on planning her wedding, I was super excited. Even during our initial communications via email, I could tell we were going to be a great fit for each other...and I knew she had style. And then when we met at Starbucks, it's almost as if we had already met. To say I'm excited about this girl's upcoming April wedding is an understatement. So without further ado, I'm thrilled to introduce you to Julia! (Sidenote: I had a REALLY hard time choosing which photos to feature here. These engagement photos by Sophie Brendle are ah-mazing.)

How did you and Daniel meet? How long have you known each other? We actually met at a wedding in Florida! He was the photographer and flew in from Seattle, while I was a bridesmaid and from South Carolina. We hardly spoke to each other the entire day, but Daniel can recall every single moment we ever interacted during the two days I was in town. 
This upcoming March will be two years!

Where do guys like to go on your dates? So, we were long distance for most of our dating season, which makes actual dates a little more challenging! We both love going on day trips whether it's a scenic mountain drive or to a nearby city. We usually pick up a few snacks, good coffee, and spend the day driving and taking fun stops along the way!

What is your favorite restaurant or type of food? We have the opposite taste in most food, but will always agree on brunch any given time of day.

Complete this sentence: We go together like _______.: cheese and crackers.

When did you know he was "the one"? Did he know before you knew? I knew he was the one when I would think about the future and couldn't picture it without him. I had always prayed for my future husband, the qualities I hoped he would have, his character, that he would love the Lord. Daniel is all of those answered prayers and more.

Daniel says it was love at first sight for him! So, he definitely knew before I did. It didn't take much longer for me to feel the same way. I did wait for him to say it first and made him wait to say it in person!

How did he propose? Were you surprised? So, we had hardly seen each other the past summer, and we spent our one year anniversary apart. I was out of the country for the month of July, and we agreed that he would come to visit me in August. It was the last day of August, He said he would come in AUGUST, and I was expecting him to show up at 4 am at this point. We hardly spoke that day because he was "busy" at a photography retreat, little did I know he was in town, planning and organizing the proposal with my siblings and a few close friends. 

He got everyone in on it to throw me off and ended up proposing at one of our spots that I had taken him to the first time he came to visit. I was completely taken off guard and froze up when I saw him! Poor Daniel had to come and walk me over to the exact spot he had set up. It was incredible, and he wrote down what he said, that way I would never forget. I carry it around in my wallet and read it often because it's so sweet. 

I WAS TOTALLY SURPRISED.

When and where are you two getting married? What made you decide to get married here? We are getting married April 6th at the Lionsgate Manor in Spartanburg. We both knew we wanted to have an evening outdoor wedding. The venue is beautiful, and I can't even imagine how much more beautiful it will be in the spring! Plus there's going to be a waterfall; who doesn't want to get married with a waterfall at their venue?

What colors are you using for your wedding? We are going to have rich berry shades, cream, and dusty blue.

Describe your wedding in three words. Dreamy, Intimate, and moody.

How would you describe the style of your wedding? I would describe our wedding style as romantic with a touch of classic.

What are your top 3 must-haves for your wedding? I knew I had to have beautiful flowers and a dreamy gown, those were both a must for me! I would also say great food, we both agree on that one.

What is your favorite wedding blog or magazine? It's a tie between Once Wed and Style Me Pretty.

What have you loved most about planning your wedding? I love how it brings together friends and family. I feel like most girls spend years daydreaming and planning dream weddings with their close friends and family. It's exciting to be able to actually bring those ideas to life and know that soon enough, everyone will be here to celebrate the day with us.

Are you guys going on a honeymoon? Where? Why did you choose this location? What are you going to do? We are planning our honeymoon in Greece and Italy. We both love to travel and neither of us have been to either of those places! We definitely plan on eating a lot of incredible food and taking amazing pictures.

What are you most excited about in your marriage? I feel like we both are most excited about just being together and starting our life together. We spent so much time apart when we dated, that all the daily little routines and things are exciting to us. I know Daniel is excited about doing laundry, and I'm excited to go grocery shopping together. We may change our minds half a year later, but its still going to be wonderful to do daily life together.

If you could give any future bride one piece of advice, what would you tell her? My one piece of advice would be to find your people, whether it be your bridesmaids, your parents, or siblings. They help reassure you when you doubt your choices because you found something else on Pinterest, or they take over Google research because you can't handle looking up anything else that day. It's just good to know who you can turn to when you're stressed and to have that support every step of the way!

Wedding Seating Chart 101

If you're having 50 or more guests at your wedding reception, you should seriously consider making a seating chart for your guests. Give them direction on where to sit. This eases so many things...tensions, awkward family/friend dynamics, wondering whether or not a certain table is reserved for the Wedding Party or other VIPs, and making sure everyone has a seat next to his/her date. If you're lost on where to begin with this task...here is your step-by-step guide.

Location, Location

Timing

Don't wait until the last minute; it'll just cause you a headache. Start early. I'd suggest start at least two weeks out from the wedding, and you can make little changes here and there as you need to.

Categorize

Categorize your guests between your friends, his friends, your family, his family, your coworkers, his coworkers, etc. Unless you're one of our clients and have access to our online planning suite of tools, you can easily make these categories in a spreadsheet. Add a column to your guest list, and categorize each guest by appropriate role/group. By categorizing your guests, you'll be able to more easily sort the list into something that makes sense for seating.

Assigning Seats vs. Assigning Tables

Decide if you're going to assign individual seats or just assign tables. For most weddings, you can assign your guests to specific tables and let them decide where to sit at the table. However, if you are having a plated meal, you definitely want to assign each guest a specific seat. If you assign individual seats, you will need both escort cards and place cards. Escort cards are picked up at the entrance to your reception and tell you which table you are sitting at, and place cards are placed at each individual place setting to tell you which seat is yours. If you're just assigning tables, you only need escort cards. Another option for escort cards is to use a poster or chart like Erin & Matt did:

bespokenweddings_0034.jpWedding Seating Chart 101 | Bespoken Weddings & Eventsg

Head Table vs. Sweetheart Table

Decide whether or not you want a Head Table. A traditional Head Table is a long rectangular table where the bride and groom sit in the center. The maid of honor sits on the other side of the groom, the best man sits on the other side of the bride, and then it proceeds from there, alternating boy/girl. Of course, you don't have to do it that way. There are no rules. You can place the maid of honor next to you, and the best man next to the groom. You can place all the bridesmaids on one side, and all of the groomsmen on the other. Or...you can let your wedding party sit at a round table like all of the other guests, while you and your new spouse sit at a sweetheart table for just the two of you (which gives you a little more alone time).

The Parents

Decide where your parents are going to sit. Traditionally, both sets of parents will sit at one round table together, along with grandparents and any siblings who aren't in the wedding party. However, if yours or your spouse's parents divorced and don't get along, you may want to consider putting them at separate tables with other family members and friends. Potentially, this could mean up to 4 parent tables, but it's totally ok. Do what works for your family and situation.

Everyone Else

As for the rest of your guests, you can mix and match as you seem appropriate. Most people will feel most comfortable being at a table with others they already know. However, there will likely be at least one couple who don't really know anyone else. In this case, put them with others who are most like them, and/or others who will be welcoming to them. If you have a large group of friends who all know each other, and if they don't all fit at one table, just split them in half, and put them at two tables next to each other. Just don't leave anyone out. Be considerate.

Your Single Friends

And for the love of everything...resist every urge to create a "singles" table. This could be embarrassing to your friends. However, you could slyly sit your single gal next to that guy you've really wanted to set her up with. Or at least put them at the same table.

The Kids Table

As for kids, try sitting them all together at a Kids Table. You could even provide kids activities at this table (coloring books, Legos, special placemats, etc.). If your flower girl and ring bearer are the only kids, then seat them with their parents.

Logistics

# of Guests Per Table

If you are having 60" round dinner tables (pretty standard size), you don't want any less than 6 guests per table. Any less than this, and your table is going to look awkward and empty. 8 guests at a 60" round table is ideal. It's not too cramped and not too empty. Guests will have elbow room, and if you're having full place settings with chargers, everything can fit nicely. 10 guests per table is the maximum number of people you can sit there. Chairs will not be able to be pushed all the way in, and if you are having full place settings with chargers, they won't fit on the table top. So...try to keep it at 8 per table if you can.

If you are having rectangular tables, you'll likely have 6' long tables. You can fit 3 on each side of the table, and if you want end caps (a guest sitting at the head and foot of each table, aka the short sides of the tables), then you can fit 8 at each rectangular table.

Venue Layout

One of the things many people don't take into consideration is the layout of the venue and how many tables you will be able to fit comfortably in your venue space. Keep in mind that your guests will need to be able to get in and out of their seat and walk between tables easily and comfortably. Ideally, you want each table to be 60" apart from each other to allow ample space for walking and pulling out chairs.

How-To

Again, unless you have access to our online planning software, there's a really easy tried-and-true method of creating your seating chart. Grab a posterboard or foam board, and draw your round or rectangular tables all over it in the same way they'll be placed in your venue. Label each table "Table 1," "Table 2," and so forth. Then, grab a bunch of small bookmark Post-It notes, and write each guests' name on them. Then, go ahead and start placing each guest at the respective tables. Move the Post-Its around as you need to, until you are happy with the arrangement.

TIP: Place elderly far away from the speakers/dance floor. And consider placing elderly and disabled guests near bathrooms for easier access.

No matter what, don't stress about this. Your guests are adults, and they can deal. Don't overthink it. Get a friend's opinion if you need to, but once you think you have it where it'll work, leave it alone.

Anyone have any additional seating chart tips they want to share?

We're Hiring a Spring 2018 Shadow!

Bespoken Weddings & Events Spring 2018 Shadow Program

After much prayer, thought, and consideration, we have revamped our Intern Program to become a Shadow Program. We are expanding our team of three (myself, Kendal, and Emily) to link arms with someone who will add value to our lives and business. Bespoken Weddings & Events has grown so much over the past year, and I'm excited to move forward into the next phase of our business. I've created the position of Shadow: an unpaid position that will help to efficiently move our business forward while teaching aspiring wedding and event planners and giving them hands-on experience.

Interviews will take place during the last couple of weeks of January and first week of February (it's a thorough interview process!). Shadows must be willing to commit to at least 5 weddings or events during the Shadow Program. These dates will be given to the candidates during interviews, and the chosen Shadows must commit to those dates before being accepted into the program. When you commit to a date, I ask that you set aside the entire weekend, as times and locations vary.

There is potential to move forward with our company after you complete the Shadow Program, and we can discuss this in more detail should you be accepted for the interview process.

Click here for more info and to apply to Bespoken Weddings & Events' Spring 2018 Shadow Program! We can't wait to hear from you!